A man walks into a pet store and says, "I'm playing Long John Silver in the play Treasure Island, and I'm looking for a parrot. Can you sell me one?"
The pet store owner says, "You don't want a real parrot, it'll squawk all the time and poop on your shoulder, and what if it falls off during the play?"
The man says, "Well, I want to be as realistic as possible."
The pet store owner says, "I've got a stuffed parrot you can use. Can you pick it up on Thursday?"
"Oh, I can't come on Thursday. That's when I'm getting my leg cut off."
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