Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Cool Person Test

This test is based on how cool you were in high school. What crowd you ran with, etc. It is pretty accurate. You may want to send it to your friends to see if they have changed. If you get to the questions screen - they will surely bring back some memories.


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Monday, February 26, 2007

National Dyslexic Association


This reminds me of the old joke:

My wife is a founding member of DAM:  Mothers Against Dyslexia

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Thursday, February 22, 2007

Throwing cup of ice = Go to Jail ?

Long story short: A North Carolina woman faces up to 2 years in prison for throwing a McDonald's cup full of ice at another car in traffic.  The case is known in that area as the McMissile case, since the woman is being charged with 'maliciously throwing a missile into an occupied vehicle'.


Yep, a missle!  A Stafford County judge instructed the jury that any physical object can be a missile and be propelled by any force, including throwing.


You can read further about this story here and here.

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Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Can you read it right the first time?

Try reading the following statements out-loud and see if you use the correct pronunciation the first time thru:


1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.


So, how'd you do?

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Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Valentine Riddles

The following riddles will register on just about everyon'e groan meters. 

You have been warned.


What would you get if you crossed a dog with a valentine card?

     A card that says, "I love you drool-ly!"


What did the painter say to her boyfriend?

     "I love you with all my art!"


What does a man who loves his car do on February 14?

     He gives it a valenshine!


What did the man with the broken leg say to his nurse?

     "I've got a crutch on you!"


Did you hear about the romance in the tropical fish tank?

     It was a case of guppy love.


What do you call two birds in love?



What did Frankenstein say to his girlfriend?

     "Be my valenstein!"


What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?

     Hogs and kisses!


Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?

     Sure, they're very scent-imental!


What did the paper clip say to the magnet on Valentine's Day?

     "I find you very attractive."


What did the bat say to his Valentine?

     "You're fun to hang around with."


Why did the cannibal break up with his Valentine?

     She didn't suit his taste!


Don't say I didn't warn you!

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Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Check prices on the fly!

Have you ever been shopping for books, music, videos or anything else that might be sold on and wanted to compare the store's price to  Using, now you can! Follow these steps:


     1. Find the bar code on any product (also called UPC or ISBN)

     2. Dial 1-617-712-3574

        Using your phone keypad, enter the numbers found below the bar code

     3. Listen for new/used prices, customer rating and similar items


1.  2.    3.  


If you decide to buy from, when you get to a computer simply visit  Use your cell phone number to log in and you will find a list of the items you made inquiries about, as well as links to the items on Amazon's site.


All it costs is the air minutes you use to make the call!  Happy Shopping!

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Monday, February 12, 2007

Opera Mini midlet

As many of you already know, I carry a Windows Mobile device (Pocket PC) as my work cell phone, since I provide support for these 'hip computers' (hip as in body part, not 'ultra-cool').


I found Mini Opera when I was looking for an alternate internet browser for my Cingular 8125, as I was having problems with one particular webpage loading correctly. To be truthful, once the page loaded correctly in Mini Opera, I bookmarked it and didn't use the app any more, until I needed to visit that site again.


Last week I was looking for an additional POP3 email reader and found one that was a midlet.  When I installed it, it was right next to Opera Mini (OM).  After I was finished with the email client, I decided to play around with OM for a little while.  I soon realized I had been missing out on a great little app!


I didn't get a stopwatch out to confirm this, but I do believe that webpages are loaded somewhat quicker, and I know they are easier to deal with than Pocket IE (the default browser that comes with WM5).


I know that navigating websites is easier and quicker with this application because using the d-pad below the screen has a method to scroll line-by-line (using either up or down) or the entire screen (using either right or left).  When using the up or down, each available link is highlighted as it is approached, allowing for the center button of the d-pad to be used to 'click' the link.

Another ease in website viewing is the fact it collapses long series of related links.  The screen capture to the left is from Law & Disorder, a blog maintained by Brent, a Des Moines police officer. 


If you will notice, Brent has 11 links in his "Cop Related Blogs" and 68 in his "My Daily Reads" section. (Q: How do you find time to get any work done Brent?)  Instead of displaying at least 79 lines of links, both of those sections are collapsed and have a plus sign which allows for the section to be expanded, if desired.  As mentioned above, if I were using the d-pad to navigate, once either of the plus signs were highlighted, clicking the center of the d-pad would expand the section for viewing.


Two additional "great deals" within OM is a speedy "back" option and an RSS subscription feature.


Speedy back:  It caches previous pages so nicely that they load almost instantly upon hitting the back button.  I haven't found any memory problems with my device lately, so I assume (we all know what that means) that OM clears the memory cache when it is exited.


RSS Subscription: If the page being viewed has an associated RSS feed link on the page, there is a 'subscribe' link presented at the top of the page.  Once subscribed, it will provide information concerning how many articles/posts have been created since the lat visit.


The only drawback that I have found so far with using any midlet interface is the inability to do any copy/paste within the text entry areas.


In short, while I will continue to use Pocket IE for limited uses (I have the start page give me the local weather forecast and has a Google search option on it), when I plan on doing any extended web surfing with my 8125.

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The Wall ... on video

I took Sarah's digital camera to the Black Belt testing (kind of obvious, being I already shared pictures of the event).  But, besides taking still pictures, I took a couple of videos as well.  I didn't originally post them due to file size, but over the weekend I was able to use some video conversion software to reduce one to a managable size.


Since I was spending a little time with the video, I had to add some music to it as well. The first song that came to mind was "Another Brick in the Wall" by Pink Floyd.


Here is a link to the the finished product for your enjoyment (with a little, as it happened, color commentary by your's truly): THE WALL!


Note: it is a little over 5MB in size, so it may take a short time to get cached

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Sunday, February 11, 2007

What a way to spend a Saturday

Today Sarah and I traveled to Shawnee, America to watch my brother and nephew (her uncle and cousin) test for their Tae Kwon Do Black Belts


To warm up, they had to perform "the wall" six times. 

I don't remember all of the pieces of the wall, but I think one cycle of the wall consists of 30 jumping jacks, then 30 squats, 15 push-ups, 30 crunch sit-ups, 10 reverse sit-ups (?) and several leg extensions.  Needless to say, six cycles of this took a while, and tons of energy.


After completing "the wall", they started demonstrating all the various punches, kicks and routines that they have been learning since starting just 3.5 years ago.  My brother and his son signed up together as a way of not only getting in shape, but as a way of spending quality time together.  Both advanced quickly and have earned the respect of their instructors and fellow students.  Dee (my brother) has been instructing a "Boot Camp" (martial arts based fitness class) and Matt (my nephew) has been helping out with several classes with younger students.


Both have practiced hundreds, if not thousands, of hours in preparation for today.  Both were prepared, but Dee did show some signs of nerves during some of the routines they were required to perform.  There were eight separate instructors there all pushing them as hard as they possibly could. 


About mid-way through, they had to spar a three minute round with each instructor.  It took all they had to last the time, but I am proud to say they didn't quit and both finished strong.


Time was getting short for Sarah and I to get back home, but we were able to stay long enough to watch the presentation of their black belts.  It was a very emotional experience, to hear the wonderful comments from each of the instructors.


Being that Matt is only 14, the black belt presented to him was a 'Jr' level, even though he performed just as well as anyone there.  He will have to re-test when he is 16, but he will be wearing his black belt when he does it.  The instructors discussed the option of presenting the full black belt level to Matt, but the head instructor (owner of the school) recognizes the fact that being below the age of 16 means the jr level needs to be awarded.  (In short, he isn't running a McDojo ... one just out to 'sell' belt levels)


Note: clicking on the images above will open a new window with a larger copy of the image

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Friday, February 09, 2007

Bank returns marijuana deposit

IOWA CITY, Iowa — Banks are great places to leave valuables, like jewelry, birth certificates, cash -- and pot.


Adrian Hilton, 26, was accused of depositing a marijuana stash in a Pizza Pit deposit bag and slipping the bundle into a night deposit box at American Bank and Trust last fall.


According to a criminal complaint, Hilton, a delivery driver for Pizza Pit, admitted the marijuana was his and that he had inadvertently deposit it.


Hilton was charged with possession of marijuana, but Assistant Johnson County Attorney David Tiffany said he would ask a judge to dismiss the charge since a bank teller gave the marijuana back to Hilton when he returned to the bank the next day.


"The bank teller gave the marijuana back to him so we didn't have any evidence," Tiffany said. "She was smart enough to call police, but then she gave it back to him."

Tiffany said no charges would be filed against the teller.



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Thursday, February 08, 2007

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Scientific discovery?

I think the reason for the existance of Black Holes has finally been found. 


Just another shirt that would be a wonderful addition to my non-existant humorous t-shirt collection.

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Monday, February 05, 2007

A great way to start the day

As I am leaving to go to work, many times I see a light under Hope's door as I walk down the hall.  As I open the door to tell her good-bye, she always beats me by saying "I Love You" in her sweet quiet voice.


How is that for a great way to start the day?

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Sunday, February 04, 2007

You gotta love the older generation

Here I sit on Superbowl Sunday, too sick to go to any of the various 'parties' my family has been invited to attend.  I was trying to figure something to blog about and a funny story from when I was a cop came to mind:


I was lucky enough to receive the award of Payne County Law Enforcement Officer of the Year (either 1993 or 1994) from the local Elks Lodge.  As the recipient of such a prestigious award, I received a plaque and a free lunch (woo hoo!). There were representatives of all the local law enforcement agencies (city, county, highway patrol, state bureau of investigation, etc) at the presentation.  The announcement of the 'winner' was done before the lunch was served, which meant I really didn't get to eat since everyone wanted to discuss my previous year's activity.  One older gentleman, who was probably a little hard of hearing, was sitting at a table next to mine.  He was asking me questions in a voice loud enough that everyone was able to hear.  I was trying to eat and talk at the same time, but that was about to turn into a bad idea.


At one point, just as I was stuffing my mouth full of food, the older gentleman said:

I have no idea how you police officers deal with all the bad guys out there today.  You never know when you are going to turn the corner to find someone pointing an automatic jacuzzi at you!


When he said jacuzzi instead of uzi, I just about choked on my meal.  At his volume level, the entire room heard his comment and there were muted chuckles all around the room.  I tried to be polite, and said that I had yet run into a jacuzzi-toting gang member, but that I wore a bullet proof vest just in case!


In case you are wondering, I believe I received the Officer of the Year award for the following reasons:

  • Highest level of enforcement for child safety seat compliance in the county (I wrote almost as many as the entire department combined)
  • Creation of a child safety seat seminar, presented once a month at the local hospital for expecting parents (free of charge) .... also presented as two state-wide traffic safety conventions
  • Multiple DUI educational talks to University fraternity/sorority groups. 
    (I teamed up with a local Defense Attorney for these)
  • High level of DUI enforcement that year

While my primary duties were education and enforcement of seatbelt and drug/alcohol related actives, I took a high level of pride in my work and excelled at the enforcement pieces!

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Saturday, February 03, 2007

I just got this from my mom:

When I'm an old lady, I'll live with each kid,
And bring so much happiness...just as they did.
I want to pay back all the joy they've provided.
Returning each deed! Oh, they'll be so excited!
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)


I'll write on the wall with reds, whites and blues,
And I'll bounce on the furniture...wearing my shoes.
I'll drink from the carton and then leave it out.
I'll stuff all the toilets and oh, how they'll shout!
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)


When they're on the phone and just out of reach,
I'll get into things like sugar and bleach.
Oh, they'll snap their fingers and then shake their head,
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)


When they cook dinner and call me to eat,
I'll not eat my green beans or salad or meat,
I'll gag on my okra, spill milk on the table,
And when they get angry...I'll run...if I'm able!
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)


I'll sit close to the TV, through the channels I'll click,
I'll cross both eyes just to see if they stick.
I'll take off my socks and throw one away,
And play in the mud 'til the end of the day!
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)


And later in bed, I'll lay back and sigh,
I'll thank God in prayer and then close my eyes.
My kids will look down with a smile slowly creeping,
And say with a groan, "She's so sweet when she's sleeping!"


Is it to late to be adopted into a different family????
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Friday, February 02, 2007

Military / SWAT hand signals

I know many people watch movies where the military and/or SWAT personnel are communicating with each other using only hand signals.  I thought I would help you, my faithful readers, in understanding those signals:


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