I always wondered what they were discussing...

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Another Obituary

The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

 

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Buttersworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.

 

The gravesite was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.

 

He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times he still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions.

 

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children, John Dough and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly dad, Pop Tart.

 

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

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What to wear when your wife wants you to do something.

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Happy Pi Day!

Today is March fourteenth.

That makes it 3.14 on the calendar.

3.14 is also known as Pi (3.14159)

So, at 1:59pm, it will be even more Pi Day.

 

Yes, it must be a very slow news day for this to be the only thing to post about!

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I lost two friends this past week

I was in communications with Tony on a weekly, if not daily, basis. He was buried on Wednesday.

 

Yesterday, Jim was buried. I hadn’t spoken with Jim in several years, as we had grown apart from each other for some stupid reason.

 

While I am mourning the loss of both, I believe the mourning for Jim is worse, because I am also mourning the loss of those years we didn’t spent in fellowship.

 

If you and a friend are drifting away from each other (or have already drifted away), think about re-connecting with them, and soon.

 

You will never recover those years lost over silly or stupid differences.

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Jim D. Lolley (1967 - 2007)

Jim D. Lolley, 39, of St. Anne, Illinois, passed from this life and into the next on March 1, 2007. He was traveling on business in Lancaster County, Pa., when he was involved in a fatal auto accident.

 

Jim entered this world on April 26, 1967, in Valdosta, Ga., and began a life of purpose and principle -- he left a legacy which will far outlast his 39 years of life. He attended school in Lowndes County, where he graduated in 1985 from Lowndes High School. While in high school, Jim was on the wrestling team for three years and earned the title of 4A State Heavyweight Wrestling Champion. He also played football his senior year. Upon graduation, Jim was named a Senior Superlative. For the next three years Jim attended the University of Southwest Louisiana on a football scholarship.

 

While in school in Louisiana, he met Michelle Bates and they married in May of 1987. In September of 1988, Jim and Michelle welcomed their first child into their life. They moved to Perkins, Okla., where they lived for the next 11 years. They added two more children to their family while residing there.

 

In 1999, Jim graduated from Bartlesville Wesleyan College with a B.S. degree in human resource management. Jim worked for Armstrong World Industries from 1989 until his death. He received several promotions while with Armstrong and was recently promoted to Human Resources Manager for Resilient Manufacturing & Operations-Armstrong Floor Products.

 

Jim lived to serve others and spent his days fulfilling that purpose. He never met a stranger and never passed someone by that was in need. He cherished his family above all else and loved God and mankind with all his heart.

 

Surviving are his wife, Michelle Lolley of St. Anne; two daughters and one son-in-law, Nikki and Benjamin Chew of Bakersfield, Calif., Chelsea Lolley of St. Anne; one son, Benjamin Lolley of St. Anne; parents, Bob and Leonia Lolley of Valdosta, Ga.; and one brother, Bobby Lolley of Tallahassee, Fla.

 

There will be two memorial celebrations of Jim's life. The first will be held at 10 a.m. Wednesday, March 7, at Immanuel Baptist Church in Kankakee. The second will be held at 2 p.m. Saturday, March 10, at River of Life Church in Perkins, Okla. Jim will be laid to rest at the Perkins Cemetery.

 

Note from Ron:

Jim was a friend from several years back, when he lived in a small town south of Stillwater.  He was a good friend, a guy who was full of life and a fun-loving guy.  He will be greatly missed.

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Anthony Talbot Barr (1947 - 2007)

Anthony Talbot Barr, 59, of Boca Raton died peacefully on March 5, 2007.

 

He was born July 18, 1947, in Chicago, IL. Tony was predeceased by his father, William G. Barr of Joliet, IL; mother, Elinor Talbot Harnett of Ft. Lauderdale; and most recently by his sister, Robin Barr Pellegrino of Boulder City, NV. Surviving Tony are his daughter Lisa (Tim) Russo; granddaughter, Tabitha, grandson, Nick; and great grandson, Timothy all of Troy, NY. He is also survived by his sister, Kathleen (Dave) Barr Kruger, of Lilburn, GA; brother, Michael (Carroll) of Powhatan, VA; and sister, Susan (Jeff) Hellberg of Amarillo, TX. Also surviving Tony are the love of his life and soulmate, Eva Julie Hughes, and his "other mother", Dolores Schneider.

 

Tony graduated from the University of Tampa with a bachelor of science in 1970 and subsequently started T-Barr, Inc. a commercial real estate company. He was a member of the National Association of Realtors and a longstanding member of the US Polo Association. In addition to his involvement in real estate, Tony's dedication was to The Barr Foundation as both a Board Member and its President, traveling to Third World countries to make people "Whole Again" through The Barr Foundation. He was a member of the elite group of skydivers who had logged over five hundred jumps, but his passion was polo and his polo ponies.

 

Friends may call from 2-4 and 6-8 pm on Wednesday, March 7 at Babione Funeral Home (East Chapel), where a funeral service will be held at 7:00 pm. The family requests that in lieu of flowers, donations be made to The Barr Foundation, 136 NE Olive Way, Boca Raton, FL 33432.

 

The family and Board of Directors of The Barr Foundation are resolute to continue the work of the Foundation in memory of its founder, William G. Barr, and now its Champion Tony Barr. Babione Funeral Home is in charge of arrangements, 561-395-8787

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The passing of a good man

At approximately 7:00am this morning (Florida, USA time), Anthony Barr, President of the Barr Foundation, passed away as the result of cardiac damage suffered from a heart attack last week.

 

I initially came into contact with Anthony (Tony) prior to my amputation surgery in December 2003.  He explained how a new website was being put together about the Ertl Procedure, and he asked if I would submit my bio to be included in the site after my surgery.  After the surgery, and considering how happy I was with how my quality of life was improving, I was more than happy to submit my bio for inclusion.

 

Fast forward about a year.  The webmaster of ErtlReconstruction.com was preparing for for a crazy bike ride across Europe, so I offered to take over the website while he was gone.  This led to Tony and I being in contact on an almost daily basis!  While we primarily stayed in contact via email, we telephoned each other about once a month to bounce ideas off each other.

 

In March 2006, Tony had me fly to Chicago to give a short presentation to the Barr Foundation Board of Directors about the website's success.  What was supposed to be a 15 minutes presentation (warm-up for the keynote speaker) turned into a 30 minute presentation, with a 20 minute Q&A afterward since the keynote speaker wasn't able to attend.

 

In short, the Barr Foundation exists to:

1. Assist amputees in the US acquire prosthetic components, when they are financially unable to assist themselves.  This is done via financial donations to the foundation.

2. Assist amputees in third world countries with acquiring prosthetic components. This is done via both financial and component donations to the foundation.

3. Promote the Ertl Procedure to be a standard procedure to be available to all patients in need of an amputation surgery, due to diabetes, injury, etc.

 

Please keep Tony's wife Eva, and the rest of their family in your prayers at this time.

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One for the geeks

If you think "There's no place like 127.0.0.1" is funny,

you should get a kick out of this tattoo:

Note: If you don't understand the humor of this, and want an explanation ... just let me know.

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Cool Person Test

This test is based on how cool you were in high school. What crowd you ran with, etc. It is pretty accurate. You may want to send it to your friends to see if they have changed. If you get to the questions screen - they will surely bring back some memories.

 

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National Dyslexic Association

 

This reminds me of the old joke:

My wife is a founding member of DAM:  Mothers Against Dyslexia

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Throwing cup of ice = Go to Jail ?

Long story short: A North Carolina woman faces up to 2 years in prison for throwing a McDonald's cup full of ice at another car in traffic.  The case is known in that area as the McMissile case, since the woman is being charged with 'maliciously throwing a missile into an occupied vehicle'.

 

Yep, a missle!  A Stafford County judge instructed the jury that any physical object can be a missile and be propelled by any force, including throwing.

 

You can read further about this story here and here.

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Can you read it right the first time?

Try reading the following statements out-loud and see if you use the correct pronunciation the first time thru:

 

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

 

So, how'd you do?

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Valentine Riddles

The following riddles will register on just about everyon'e groan meters. 

You have been warned.

 

What would you get if you crossed a dog with a valentine card?

     A card that says, "I love you drool-ly!"

 

What did the painter say to her boyfriend?

     "I love you with all my art!"

 

What does a man who loves his car do on February 14?

     He gives it a valenshine!

 

What did the man with the broken leg say to his nurse?

     "I've got a crutch on you!"

 

Did you hear about the romance in the tropical fish tank?

     It was a case of guppy love.

 

What do you call two birds in love?

     Tweethearts!

 

What did Frankenstein say to his girlfriend?

     "Be my valenstein!"

 

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?

     Hogs and kisses!

 

Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?

     Sure, they're very scent-imental!

 

What did the paper clip say to the magnet on Valentine's Day?

     "I find you very attractive."

 

What did the bat say to his Valentine?

     "You're fun to hang around with."

 

Why did the cannibal break up with his Valentine?

     She didn't suit his taste!

 

Don't say I didn't warn you!

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Check Amazon.com prices on the fly!

Have you ever been shopping for books, music, videos or anything else that might be sold on amazon.com and wanted to compare the store's price to Amazon.com?  Using AmaBuddy.com, now you can! Follow these steps:

 

     1. Find the bar code on any product (also called UPC or ISBN)

     2. Dial 1-617-712-3574

        Using your phone keypad, enter the numbers found below the bar code

     3. Listen for new/used prices, customer rating and similar items

 

1.  2.    3.  

 

If you decide to buy from Amazon.com, when you get to a computer simply visit http://amabuddy.com.  Use your cell phone number to log in and you will find a list of the items you made inquiries about, as well as links to the items on Amazon's site.

 

All it costs is the air minutes you use to make the call!  Happy Shopping!

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Opera Mini midlet

As many of you already know, I carry a Windows Mobile device (Pocket PC) as my work cell phone, since I provide support for these 'hip computers' (hip as in body part, not 'ultra-cool').

 

I found Mini Opera when I was looking for an alternate internet browser for my Cingular 8125, as I was having problems with one particular webpage loading correctly. To be truthful, once the page loaded correctly in Mini Opera, I bookmarked it and didn't use the app any more, until I needed to visit that site again.

 

Last week I was looking for an additional POP3 email reader and found one that was a midlet.  When I installed it, it was right next to Opera Mini (OM).  After I was finished with the email client, I decided to play around with OM for a little while.  I soon realized I had been missing out on a great little app!

 

I didn't get a stopwatch out to confirm this, but I do believe that webpages are loaded somewhat quicker, and I know they are easier to deal with than Pocket IE (the default browser that comes with WM5).

 

I know that navigating websites is easier and quicker with this application because using the d-pad below the screen has a method to scroll line-by-line (using either up or down) or the entire screen (using either right or left).  When using the up or down, each available link is highlighted as it is approached, allowing for the center button of the d-pad to be used to 'click' the link.

Another ease in website viewing is the fact it collapses long series of related links.  The screen capture to the left is from Law & Disorder, a blog maintained by Brent, a Des Moines police officer. 

 

If you will notice, Brent has 11 links in his "Cop Related Blogs" and 68 in his "My Daily Reads" section. (Q: How do you find time to get any work done Brent?)  Instead of displaying at least 79 lines of links, both of those sections are collapsed and have a plus sign which allows for the section to be expanded, if desired.  As mentioned above, if I were using the d-pad to navigate, once either of the plus signs were highlighted, clicking the center of the d-pad would expand the section for viewing.

 

Two additional "great deals" within OM is a speedy "back" option and an RSS subscription feature.

 

Speedy back:  It caches previous pages so nicely that they load almost instantly upon hitting the back button.  I haven't found any memory problems with my device lately, so I assume (we all know what that means) that OM clears the memory cache when it is exited.

 

RSS Subscription: If the page being viewed has an associated RSS feed link on the page, there is a 'subscribe' link presented at the top of the page.  Once subscribed, it will provide information concerning how many articles/posts have been created since the lat visit.

 

The only drawback that I have found so far with using any midlet interface is the inability to do any copy/paste within the text entry areas.

 

In short, while I will continue to use Pocket IE for limited uses (I have the start page give me the local weather forecast and has a Google search option on it), when I plan on doing any extended web surfing with my 8125.

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The Wall ... on video

I took Sarah's digital camera to the Black Belt testing (kind of obvious, being I already shared pictures of the event).  But, besides taking still pictures, I took a couple of videos as well.  I didn't originally post them due to file size, but over the weekend I was able to use some video conversion software to reduce one to a managable size.

 

Since I was spending a little time with the video, I had to add some music to it as well. The first song that came to mind was "Another Brick in the Wall" by Pink Floyd.

 

Here is a link to the the finished product for your enjoyment (with a little, as it happened, color commentary by your's truly): THE WALL!

 

Note: it is a little over 5MB in size, so it may take a short time to get cached

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What a way to spend a Saturday

Today Sarah and I traveled to Shawnee, America to watch my brother and nephew (her uncle and cousin) test for their Tae Kwon Do Black Belts. 

 

To warm up, they had to perform "the wall" six times. 

I don't remember all of the pieces of the wall, but I think one cycle of the wall consists of 30 jumping jacks, then 30 squats, 15 push-ups, 30 crunch sit-ups, 10 reverse sit-ups (?) and several leg extensions.  Needless to say, six cycles of this took a while, and tons of energy.

 

After completing "the wall", they started demonstrating all the various punches, kicks and routines that they have been learning since starting just 3.5 years ago.  My brother and his son signed up together as a way of not only getting in shape, but as a way of spending quality time together.  Both advanced quickly and have earned the respect of their instructors and fellow students.  Dee (my brother) has been instructing a "Boot Camp" (martial arts based fitness class) and Matt (my nephew) has been helping out with several classes with younger students.

 

Both have practiced hundreds, if not thousands, of hours in preparation for today.  Both were prepared, but Dee did show some signs of nerves during some of the routines they were required to perform.  There were eight separate instructors there all pushing them as hard as they possibly could. 

 

About mid-way through, they had to spar a three minute round with each instructor.  It took all they had to last the time, but I am proud to say they didn't quit and both finished strong.

 

Time was getting short for Sarah and I to get back home, but we were able to stay long enough to watch the presentation of their black belts.  It was a very emotional experience, to hear the wonderful comments from each of the instructors.

 

Being that Matt is only 14, the black belt presented to him was a 'Jr' level, even though he performed just as well as anyone there.  He will have to re-test when he is 16, but he will be wearing his black belt when he does it.  The instructors discussed the option of presenting the full black belt level to Matt, but the head instructor (owner of the school) recognizes the fact that being below the age of 16 means the jr level needs to be awarded.  (In short, he isn't running a McDojo ... one just out to 'sell' belt levels)

 

Note: clicking on the images above will open a new window with a larger copy of the image

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Bank returns marijuana deposit

IOWA CITY, Iowa — Banks are great places to leave valuables, like jewelry, birth certificates, cash -- and pot.

 

Adrian Hilton, 26, was accused of depositing a marijuana stash in a Pizza Pit deposit bag and slipping the bundle into a night deposit box at American Bank and Trust last fall.

 

According to a criminal complaint, Hilton, a delivery driver for Pizza Pit, admitted the marijuana was his and that he had inadvertently deposit it.

 

Hilton was charged with possession of marijuana, but Assistant Johnson County Attorney David Tiffany said he would ask a judge to dismiss the charge since a bank teller gave the marijuana back to Hilton when he returned to the bank the next day.

 

"The bank teller gave the marijuana back to him so we didn't have any evidence," Tiffany said. "She was smart enough to call police, but then she gave it back to him."

Tiffany said no charges would be filed against the teller.

 

STORY HERE

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Real or not ... it's still funny!

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