Christmas with my family

Even though it is Christmas Eve Eve, my family traveled to Norman to have Christmas with my family (my mom, my brother and his family and me and my family).  Everyone got there in time to help get a great lunch together, and we had a great time stuffing ourselves before the gift exchange happened.

 

I won't go into great detail about all the gifts that were opened, but it is needless to say that all of us were greatly blessed by each other.  I will share one very special gift that I received from my brother.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My brother ordered a Road ID for me.  He picked out the black wristband style (visit RoadID.com to see the entire line of products).  In comparison to the other gifts shared today, it wasn't big on the list -don't get me wrong-, but the sentiment and thought behind this gift was HUGE!  The six lines of text on the ID plate itself contains my name, city & state, home telephone number, my mom's telephone number, my medical allergies and on the last line: Tis Gar Plen.  The fact he took the time to find out my allergies, he recognized the importance of my motto (Tis Gar Plen) and he is concerned for my safety with all of my bide riding really means a lot to me.

 

I put it on as soon as I got it and haven't taken it off yet.  Not only is it a safety item for me when I ride, it will be a symbol of my brother's love and concern for me.

 

Note to my brother:  Dee, if I haven't told you lately, I love you!

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Want to sponsor a class?

Being that we already have Boone Pickens Stadium

 

and the ConocoPhillips OSU Alumni Center

 

this cartoon may actually become a reality in the near future:

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Holiday Greetings to Everyone

I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my friends, but it is so difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my attorney yesterday, and on his advice I wish to say the following:

 

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter/summer solstice holiday, practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

 

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great (not to imply that it is necessarily greater than any other country) and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

 

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:

This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

 

...... Yeah right!!!!

 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to each and every reader of TisGarPlen!

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Views of the drinking glass

Variations on the "half full/half empty" argument:

Optimist: The glass is half full
Pessimist: The glass is half empty
Engineer: The glass is twice as big as it needs to be
Accountant: Does that glass really need all that water?

Quantum Physicist: The glass has a 50% probability of holding water

Philosopher: If no-one looks at the glass, who's to say how full or empty it is?

Matter of perspective: Half empty or half full? Depends on if you're drinking or pouring.

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Escapee charged with stealing handcuffs

(AP) CLINTON, Iowa — A would-be Houdini faces escape and theft charges after slipping away from Clinton police while still in handcuffs. The theft charge is for taking the handcuffs.

 

David Lee Griffin, 19, of Clinton, and two other suspects were arrested about 1 a.m. Wednesday after stealing items from cars in the 800 block alley between 5th and 6th avenues south in Clinton, according to court records.

 

Griffin was brought to the Clinton Police Department with his hands cuffed behind his back and placed in an interview room. He managed to get his hands in front of him when he was left alone in the interview room, then left the room and slipped out a side door of the police station, still wearing the handcuffs, according to court records.

 

Police officers spotted Griffin going into a nearby residence and took him into custody, adding misdemeanor charges of escape and fifth-degree theft to the misdemeanor charge of third-degree burglary he already was facing.

 

Griffin was being held Wednesday in the Clinton County Jail on $1,950 bond.

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Story confirmed via the Quad-City Times

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Five Great Movie Trailer Spoofs

The rise of YouTube, Google Video and other video sharing web sites has lead to more than just copyright infringements. It has lead to some pretty clever satire, in the form of movie trailer spoofs.

 

Of course, in a world where a two-second sample from a three-note guitar solo is copyright infringement, the creators of these videos have probably already been sued. But enough talk, here are five movie trailer spoofs well worth watching.
    (each will open in a new window) 

• Mary Poppins
• 10 Commandments (warning: one curse word)
• Shining
• Back to the Future
• Forrest Gump

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How to get out of a Speeding Ticket

The best way:  Don't Speed!

 

But if you do speed and get caught, here are some suggestions:

#1: As soon as you hear the siren or see the "flashing red & blues", safely pull over, put the car in park, and roll down your window.

#2: Turn on the inside car light (if at night) and place your hands on the "10:00 and 2:00" positions of the wheel, staying still as the officer approaches. (This situation is one of the most dangerous for a police officer, and he or she will appreciate your courtesy of making their job just a bit easier and helping them to feel safer). This is definitely a step in the right direction.

#3: When the officer asks if you realized you were going __ in a __ mile per hour zone, admit it. Don't lie. Don't make excuses.

You might say, "I apologize officer. I didn't realize it until I heard your siren. I looked down, and yes I was going at that speed. I'm absolutely in the wrong." (This right there might get you off the hook, as it will be the most honest and refreshing words that officer has heard all night. Imagine, someone actually taking responsibility for their mistake.)

#4: If you feel you must "make your case", simply say, "Officer, again, I was definitely in the wrong. It's not something I usually do and I'm wondering if, perhaps, I could possibly get off with a warning."

Then, if you believe it necessary, use, what I call, the "Eight Key Words", which are, "If you can't do it, I'll definitely understand."

 

The combination of your politeness, courtesy and words, might help you get, at worst, a written warning and, at best, a verbal warning to "make sure you slow down".

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Interesting Space Factoids

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Daffy-nitions

From a friend:

• Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
• Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
• Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
• Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
• Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
• Flatulence (n.), emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
  Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
• Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by
  Jewish men.

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Couple of warnings

Gift Cards & Crooks

The crooks have found a way to rob you of your gift card balance. If you buy Gift Cards from a display rack that has various store cards you may become a victim of theft. Crooks are now jotting down the card numbers in the store and then wait a few days and call to see how much of a balance THEY have on the card. Once they find the card is "activated", they then go online and start shopping.

 

You may want to purchase your card from a customer service person, where they do not have the Gift Cards viewable to the public.  Victims are losing between $25 and $500.
    Confirmed as a real fraud via Snopes.com

 

Cell Phone reminder

REMINDER ....11 days from today, all cell phone numbers are being released
to telemarketing companies and you will start to receive sale calls.

....YOU WILL BE CHARGED FOR THESE CALLS

To prevent this, call the following number from your cell phone: 888-382-1222 .
It is the National DO NOT CALL list. It will only take a minute of your
time. It blocks your number for five (5) years.

You must call from the cell phone number you are wanting to have blocked.

You cannot call from a different phone number.

HELP OTHERS BY PASSING THIS ON TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS
OR GO TO: www.donotcall.gov

 

Snopes.com claims this warning to be false, but then goes on to explain how there may be a 'national registry' of cell phone numbers in the future.  I went ahead and used the DoNotCall.gov website to register the cell phones for my family (you can register three at a time on their form).  A few seconds later I received the email confirmation link to finalize the blocks.

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Blogging in your template view

I have been using Windows Live Writer for a while now as my blog editor and I am really impressed.  I had been using two different editors, depending upon if I had a picture to post or not.  One of the major issues I have with my current template is the width of images I plan on posting.  If the image is too wide, then it really throws off the look of the blog.  A couple of the huge selling points or WLW for blogging is the fact the client presents the entry during writing in a WYSIWYG format, including the width and CSS formatting of my blog.  This way I am able to see how it is going to look exactly, prior to publishing.  This is a huge bonus.

While the image is scaled down, here is what I see while I am authoring posts:

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Two free days, thanks to Mother Nature

Thursday morning, a few minutes before my alarm was set to go off, I got a call from my boss.  He was letting me know that OSU was going to be closed and not to worry about coming into work today.  All I had to say was: "Wow!".  When I got got up a little while later, I found that there was very little ice on the ground.  The cancellation was done due to the threat of snow and ice.  Being that we had some travel plans in the near future, I used this free day opportunity to get the oil changed in our car.  As I was out, ice started covering the roads.  By the time I got home, it was rather slick with ice, but no real snow to speak of (yet).  That came later.

Snow, snow and then some more snow started in the afternoon.  When there was enough to play in, Sarah and Hope went outside to have some fun.  Just as I was thinking about joining them, a buddy called who was out running errands and was wondering if I would like to join him.  Hummm, sliding around on icy roads in someone else's vehicle ... of course I would!!!!

 

We got back to the house about 90 minutes later, and it had been snowing so hard that all evidence of the girls playing in the front yard was gone.  Later that evening there was a large amount of thunder in the middle of the snow storm.  I don't ever remember that happening before (then again, how often do we get this much snow in Oklahoma?)

Another call this morning from my boss informed me of a second day of snow closing for the campus.  The errand this morning was shoveling the sidewalk and driveway (the driveway had a four foot high snow drift in the middle of it!).  The rest of the day has been spent on the computer, watching videos with the girls or helping review Sarah's research paper on the French Revolution. 

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Share the Gift of Life

In Oklahoma we have an organization named LifeShare - Transplant Donor Services of Oklahoma (each state has their own organization).  Each year LifeShare produces a newspaper insert for distribution in all newspapers in the state of Oklahoma.  A few years back David Weckler (see previous posts 1 and 2) was the front page story for the insert (link to article).  I just received a copy of this year's insert and saw the picture of another friend's son, Tommy Edwards.

Both of these young men (David age 8 and Tommy age 15) left their families much earlier than anyone should, but both had lived a full life in their few years.  Each shared laughter and happiness with just about every person they bumped into during their comings and goings.  Not only did they encourage people during their life, they also encouraged several more after their deaths.

The families of David and Tommy recognized the fact that their sons would have wanted to share as much life as they possibly could, and as such, made the life giving decision during a very painful and traumatic period of their life.  They allowed for others to live as a result of the death of a loved one.

 

I have been registered as an organ donor for as long as I can remember.  I have heard plenty of people attempt to make arguments against being a donor, with the most used line being:

If I'm a listed as a donor, emergency room staff won't work as hard to save me in case of a major accident

All I have to say to that is: HOGWASH!  If you are sick or injured and admitted to a hospital, the number one priority will always be to save your life.  Organ donation can only be considered after brain death has been declared by a physician.

 

Some facts about Donation:

• More than 94,000 people are on the nationwide organ donation transplant waiting list and tens of thousands more are in need of corneas and other tissue.
• Last year, 6,582 of those on the national list died.
• In 2005, 32% of those on the waiting list received a transplant, equaling 28,108 organ transplants.
• Nationwide, 44,329 cornea transplants were performed (283 in Oklahoma)
• Every 11 minutes another name is added to the waiting list.
• Every 90 minutes someone on the waiting list dies.

DonateLife.net is nationwide 'clearinghouse' of information for organ donation.  On their homepage is a map of the United States with links to each states primary organ donation registration center.  If you haven't registered as a donor yet, please take a few minutes to seriously consider the option.  I have a feeling if you had a family member on the waiting list, you would want as many people as possible signed up as a donor.

DonateLife.net has several advertising pieces on their site to promote registration.  This one jumped out the most to me, so I thought I would share it here:

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A day early

I am posting this a day early because I don't plan on firing up the laptop on Thanksgiving day.

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The best shirt I have seen this season

With Christmas quickly approaching, our mailbox has been inundated with various catalogs.  Over the years we might have purchased half a dozen items from a few of the catalog vendors, but there is no way we have purchased enough (in my mind) to merit the volume of catalogs we receive.

 

We recently received the Signals catalog.  This has always been a family favorite for "window shopping" as it normally contains several cool things, including clever shirts.  Some examples include:
   "Always Late But Worth the Wait"
   "50 is the new 30"
   "Veni, Vidi, Volo In Domum Redire" (Translated: I Came, I Saw, I Want To Go Home)

   "Am I getting older or is the supermarket playing great music?"

   "Mom, Dad, I'm Gaelic"

   "Embarrassing my children: Just one more service I offer"

 

But the best shirt (hoodie) I found had to be:

 

NOTE:

In case you don't recognize the seals below the text, they represent America's Armed Forces:
   Marine Corps
   Army
   Navy
   Air Force
   Coast Guard

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Test post (with pic)

Well, I saw an opportunity to 'upgrade' my blog to the blogger beta, which would be linked to my GMail account.  After the upgrade, I found that neither of the programs that I normally use to post my blog entries no longer worked ....AAARRRRGGGHHHH!

 

After spending plenty of time with Google, I ran across "Windows Live Writer" and installed it.  After initializing it, I think I might just like this one better than what I had been using.  This ties directly to my blog template, so I am able to see exactly how the formatting and spacing looks, prior to posting.
      

Inserting pictures appears to be much better.  The image is displayed immediately, borders (drop shadow and photopaper) are an option and image effects can be done on the fly.

 

 

 

The last item to check for my template design is the blockquote tag

My template is supposed to indent and italicize the text.  Also, at the top left of the quoted text is to be a light gray double-quote image. 

So far ... so good

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Not a political blog, but...

As my faithful readers are aware, I normally don’t make political ‘statements’ in my blog.  However, the below cartoon was sent to me about a month ago and I stored it away in my “blog fodder” file.  Most of the items in this file are of a humorous or personal nature, but some are very serious.  For whatever reason, I have decided to finally post this entry.

First, a little history.  When I was growing up, my father was a military physician and in the early 1970’s we were stationed in Germany.  This was a wonderful opportunity as we were able to travel and see places many people only dream of seeing (or end up using the internet for virtual-visits).  One of the most vivid memories I have is one of visiting a concentration camp memorial site.  While the visuals there have always stayed with me, over the years my memory was that the camp we visited was Auschwitz, probably because it is one of the most famous camps.  While doing research for this entry (sometimes I do more than just copy/paste), I found that Auschwitz is in Poland and I don’t remember us ever visiting there.  However, when scanning through the list of Holocaust Museums, when I saw the word Dachau Concentration Camp Memorial Site it all came back to me.

While the Virtual Tour offered on the site will never equal an in-person visit, at least the technology we have today will allow more people than would have been able.

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Garfield Randomizer

...so this guy noticed that Garfield comics make just as much sense if you throw random panels together, and sometimes are actually pretty funny. He got a cease and desist letter. So he made the code available for people who wanted to try it for themselves. Here we go!

This is what I got the third time I hit the Go button (which cycles the images):

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Euro-English right around the corner

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. 

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English". 

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. 

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. 

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. 

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. 

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. 

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. 

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". 

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. 

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. 

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze first plas. 
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Note to applicant

When completing a job application, some questions are asked in pairs, so that if one is answered with a negative response, the follow-up question doesn't require an answer.

Example: If you answer the question "Have you ever been arrested?" with 'no', don't answer the follow-up question of "Why?" with 'I was never caught'.

Just something to think about.…

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It's Gametime! Part Deux

I shared several weeks back about the emails I send out to all the students prior to home football games for the athletic department (see post).  Without getting into all the details of the message being sent out today, I do have a funny piece to tell about it.

Setup:
The game is against the Baylor Bears and this is the primary image in this week’s email:


After a message is sent out, I normally send a follow-up message to the approver to let them know the distribution process has been completed.  This week, besides just a simple “DONE”, I included: “I feel sorry for the guy who was originally in the picture, but is now missing.  All of his friends got their picture shared with the entire campus, and he got turned into a ghost!   ;-)”

The reply back from the approver made me chuckle, because their four word reply was simply:  It was Boone Pickens!

For those of you who don’t know the recent history of OSU and T. Boone Pickens, enjoy a few quality moments with Google (search words already coded into the link).

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T3 Series Personal Mobility Vehicles

My brother sent me an IM chat this morning with a link to http://www.t3motion.com/, which is a new product being marketed to police and security departments. The information on their website indicates they are not being advertised as a replacement for motorcycles or bikes, but as an additional tool for getting officers on the scene quickly and without being out of breath. Additional pieces indicate they aren’t in competition with Segway, even though Segway just had a massive recall. From what I remember about the time I was in the Chicago Airport, I would say the simple fact the T3 is a trike instead of a balanced two-wheeler gives it a huge selling feature. When the Chicago officers bailed off their Segways, the units fell over on their handlebars, which can’t be good for them over time.

Back to the T3… During lunch I looked around their website and found where they mention “Unlimited Range” due to swap-able power modules (fancy name of batteries). After I thought about that feature for a little bit, I decided to contact the company and ask if they were considering the possibility of a trunk-mounted charger base to be housed in patrol cars. This way, if an officer on a T3 needs to swap out batteries, there would already be some in the field (no need to send on officer all the way back to the station to retrieve them).

After sitting through their call controller, I finally was speaking with a young lady in marketing. I provided the idea to her and she asked me to hold while she found someone better suited to speak with me. A few seconds later she came back on and said, “Please hold for a second while I transfer you to Neil, the president of the company” then transfered me quite quickly. When Neil answered, I inquired if I heard correctly that I was being transfered to the president, to which he laughed and replied “Yes”.

Long story short: Neil advised that no one had come up with the idea of battery charges being in patrol cars so they would be closer to the T3 officers. He mentioned it made perfect sense and he was glad I called with the idea. He also asked for my contact info (I have no idea why). Here is an image of the new T3 series:


For those of you who visit the site and look at the Product Literature link:
I shared with Neil the absurdity of the shotgun positioning on page 2. He agreed, but added that a few departments have inquired about shotgun mounts. I’m sure they would most likely be totally enclosed cases, like for ATV riders (like these).

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Revolutionary war ... in an alternate reality

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Honorary "Ludite"

This weekend I have been seriously thinking about becoming a card-carrying "Luddite". Here is what has happened this week:
1. Wednesday: I finally got around to processing a service call on my laptop computer. The only problem was it needed 'jumper-cables' to get started. Even with a fully charged battery, it wanted the power cord plugged in before it would boot-up. After trying a new battery and running diagnostics on the device, Dell sent a new motherboard to arrive on Thursday (in the possession on an on-site technician).
2. Thursday: The tech arrived and changed the motherboard. When I was checking everything out afterward, we discovered many new problems when it was on it's port replicator (docking station). Another call to Dell .. new motherboard and port replicator enroute.
3. Friday: Return of the Dell tech, with new parts in hand. After short visit, all appears to be working fine!
4. Saturday: Just before leaving town, my Pocket PC device locked up, which normally requires a simple restart to fix. For some reason, this reset resulted in the SD card getting completely wiped clean. I only store about 50% of my applications on the card, including the PPC backups. As such, I am limping along the rest of the weekend with limited data (oh, well ... I have a backup on my office machine)
5. Saturday evening & Sunday afternoon: Laptop computer stability has dropped to zilch! It was either experiencing BSDs, lock-ups or rebooting on it's own. WinDiag and Dell Diagnostics (which revealed no problems on Wednesday) revealed memory problems. Another call to Dell and motherboard number three, with memory as well, will be shipped and I should expect them on Tuesday.
 
Three motherboards in four business days!?! If this doesn't resolve it, Dell is offering a complete system exchange (Dell's 'Lemon Law' policy). Thank goodness for Dell CompleteCare policy!
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Think it got quiet in this news room studio?

I wonder what everyone in the the studio thought when the police sketch was pasted right next to this newscaster?  Now, I am not implying that this guy is guilty, but I bet he caught some grief after the news show was over.


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The "Evolution of Dance" guy is coming to town

I have posted his video on my blog before and even have it on my personal website (view the video here).  The OSU Career Services department has scheduled Judson Laipply to appear at both the OSU-Tulsa and OSU-Stillwater campuses on Monday November 13th:

Event: Judson Laipply – The Evolution of Dance Guy
Time: 3:00 – 4:00 pm
Location: OSUTulsa Auditorium - Tulsa Campus
Description: "Choices, opportunities in life..."

Event: Judson Laipply – The Evolution of Dance Guy
Time: 7:30-8:30 pm
Location: Wes Watkins Center – Stillwater Campus
Description: "Choices, opportunities in life…"

I just got off the phone with the Career Services office to confirm this is an “open to the public” opportunity …. and it is.  So, if you are close to either of these locations, you might think about attending.
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I can do that!

I could dress up just like this ... but I don't have a green suit :-(


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When I saw this, I thought of Renee

When this cartoon showed up on my screen this morning, it instantly made me think of Renee.  I think I should explain:
Renee is a closet Luddite.  Well, closet may be an understatement as she really dislikes the use of the internet and email and has no qualms in sharing that with others.  (She is starting to come around a little with the discovery of Wikipedia, but that is another post within itself).  However, many of her friends are quite computer-literate and used to send Renee emails about this and that.  One friend in particular would send Renee an email and then call an hour or so later to ask her if she has checked her email.  In the amount of time the friend would attempt to share the virtues of email, she could have just as easily provided the information in the email!  (needless to say, many of the friends email the info to me, and I snail-mail it home in my laptop case!).

All that having been said, time for the cartoon:

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George Costanza's 10 Commandments for 'Working Hard'

As borrowed from JumboJoke.com:

1 - Never walk without a document in your hands.
People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.

2 - Use computers to look busy.
Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat, and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss -- and you will get caught -- your best defence is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars.

3 - Keep a messy desk.
Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.

4 - Use voice mail.
Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing -- they call because they want you to do work for them. That's no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice-mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they're not there -- it looks like you're hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel.

5 - Look impatient & annoyed.
One should also always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.

6 - Leave the office late.
Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss' room on your way out. Send important e-mail at unearthly hours (e.g. 9:35 p.m., 7:05 a.m., etc.) and during public holidays.

7 - Use sighing for effect.
Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure.

8 - Opt for the stacking strategy.
It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor etc. (thick computer manuals are the best).

9 - Build your vocabulary.
Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember; they don't have to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive.

10 - Don't get caught.
MOST IMPORTANT: Don't forward this page's URL to your boss by mistake!
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Friday Groaner - 27 Oct

While I don't envision the Friday Groaner to be a weekly installment, I do believe I should limit myself to only posting 'jokes' like these on Fridays. I have been holding onto this one for several days, just waiting for today to arrive so I could share it with all of you:

Three animals were having a huge argument over who was the best:
The first, a hawk, claimed that because of his ability to fly, he could attack anything repeatedly from above, and his prey had nary a chance. The second, a lion, based his claim on his strength---none in the forest dared to challenge him. The third, a skunk, insisted he needed neither flight nor strength to frighten off any creature. As the trio debated the issue, a grizzly bear came along and swallowed them all: hawk, lion and stinker!

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Where is the surveillance camera in my office?

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An interesting thought not to forget

Received via email:
In case we find ourselves starting to believe all the anti-American sentiment and negativity, we should remember England's Prime Minister Tony Blair's words during a recent interview. When asked by one of his Parliament members why he believes so much in America, he said:

A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in... And how many want out.

Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you:
1. Jesus Christ
2. The American G. I.

One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.

You might want to pass this on, as many seem to forget both of them

Personal Notes:

1. If you check Snopes to check that quote, you will find that the above quote to be simular to his actual statement of:
   I sometimes think it is a good rule of thumb to ask of a country: are people trying to get into it or out of it? It's not a bad guide to what sort of country it is.
2. I would add Police and FireFighters to be listed with the American G.I.

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I have two beautiful daughters ...

… but they will never be as beautiful (in the world’s view) as the models on billboards and print ads.  Why? Because those models are photoshopped before being printed.  The world’s perception of beauty is based on people who do not exist!

Watch this 1 minute 14 second video and see how the agency turns an ordinary everyday looking woman into a super model.  The real surprise is toward the end.  If you have a daughter or niece, please make sure she sees this.

(for the record, both my girls are prettier then the final billboard shown below)

(direct link to video if needed)
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Remain?

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Videos posted

With the update of the new web template on my personal web page (http://manna4all.net/tisgarplen), I thought I would add a couple of new items to the “Mental Escape” section. Besides the Games page (which includes SplashBack, Daffy Duck Skydive, Connect Four, Proximity and DiceWars), there are a couple of videos to watch. One is a very cool parody and the other a form of mash-up.

Enjoy!

Note: added Evolution of Dance as well

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Return of the guest blogger

If you remember a few months back, I had a post titled There’s a baby in the house when baby Deacon (and mommy) came to visit the King casa.  Well, guess who’s back?  Yep, you guessed it!  The only guest blogger ever to post content (although it was gibberish) on Tis Gar Plen.  Mommy and Deacon decided to grace us with their presence this week, allowing us to be their host during their ‘vacation’ in Oklahoma.

This is the third picture of Deacon on my blog (forth is below), the first being in the New Baby Announcement and the second in the June entry referenced above.  As mentioned in June, this kid is all muscle, and I’m not talking table muscle.  While he doesn’t have the balance to walk yet, this youngster was pulling up to the standing position several weeks ago and is wanting to start running all over the house.

I found out after they had left for the airport that I had missed a very moving piano recital performed by Deacon earlier in the week.  I wish I had known he was such a virtuoso, as I would have asked him to play a tune or two for me.  Oh well, I’ll have to ask for my own private concert the next time he is in town.

After reviewing the pictures for this entry as well as the June post, it appears Deacon really likes that green sweatshirt and I dress pretty much the same every Saturday morning.  One of the great joys of being a guy … not worrying about wearing the same shirt too often!

Note to Joe, Brent and other possible comment-leavers:
I know it was the pot calling the kettle black by my labelling Deacon’s content gibberish, considering the history of posts I have on this blog  (just thought I would beat all of you to that comment)

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Saskatoon Restaurant

I recently received an email from a friend that shared one of the advertising images of the Saskatoon Restaurant in Greenville, SC.  It was so good, I had to share it here.  Before posting, I visited their web site and found a few additional images to add as well:

  

Not exactly politically correct, but when has that worried me?

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My favorite Super Hero!

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Care to cast a vote?

I have used this forum before to announce an impending upgrade to my personal web site (http://tisgarplen.tux.nu/) and I am about to do it again.

This isn’t a flagrant call for comments, but a genuine request from my on-line friends to share their thoughts about a change I am thinking about.  If you would like to take a few minutes to visit my current site, then review the proposed template change at http://manna4all.net/tgp2 and let me know your thoughts, I would greatly appreciate it.  (note: both links will open in a new browser window)

The program I use for creating web sites allows for quick changes to the overall template of the sites.  If I need to make a few minor changes, such as the images with the bike (side of current site, top of proposed site) that is pretty much all I have to do.  After I copied the files from current to proposed, I spent about 15 minutes to make the minor modifications prior to uploading to the test address.

Thanks in advance to all who provide comments (constructive ones anyways).


Note to all:  Since the original posting of this entry, I have already updated the personal web site.  The first link above has been changed to a screen capture of how the site used to look, and the second link is now pointing to the actual site  (confused yet?)

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Time lapse photo of a plane taking off....

Airliners.net has an incredible time lapse photo of a UPS plane taking off, it looks like a road in the sky... If you visit the site, you should view the large version, as it is simply an incredible photo!
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"In God We Trust" in Ohio

A few months back (July 2006) Ohio governor Bob Taft signed a bill requiring all public and community schools to display donated copies of the national motto, "In God We Trust" and the state motto, "With God, All Things Are Possible". The bill requires public and charter schools using state money to display copies of the mottoes if they are donated for use in classroom, auditorim, or cafeteria. Three federal courts of appeal have upheld displays of the Ten Commandments in public buildings.

I am sure that various groups will begin court proceedings to attempt to strike down this bill, this will be interesting to follow.

Additional details on this can be found here and here
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Cough ... cough ...

The service is ‘smart enough’ to wait for the voice-mail to get to the recording point before playing your message.
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Friday Groaner - 06 Oct

I have a huge meeting regarding my future at my current place of employment in about 45 minutes (translation: what is my worth here?). As a result, I am getting somewhat nervous and having to take my mind off of it. So, I have decided to spend a few minutes to share the following with my faithful readers:

Unable to find a replacement cog for his car engine, Stan, a Datsun owner was told that he would have to go to Japan to get one. He did not want to make the trip for so little, so he decided to buy six dozen extra cogs while in Japan and bring them back to America. Then he would sell them, to help pay for the flight.

On the flight back, there was serious engine trouble and to save fuel the pilot gave orders to jettison all baggage. This meant that all the cogs had to go also.

On the ground below, an elderly couple looked up at the sky. They saw all the baggage falling from the plane. "Look, Sarah," said the old man. "It's raining Datsun cogs."

Hey, don't blame me, I said it was the Friday Groaner!
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Elevator With No Floor? Go Ahead, Step Inside

Sometimes things aren't what they appear to be, and here's a case in point: the floor of this elevator car is painted to give the illusion that there's no floor at all. It's a trompe l'oeil that's realistic enough to convince the roadrunner that there is indeed a tunnel on the side of the mountain, not just a painting by Wile E. Coyote.

The artists sell the illusion really well, too, where there's even a sign warning you there's "work in progress." After a few people walk in, though, you'll be able to see the footprints, and the illusion might not be so convincing. But I'd still like to be the first one to step inside. Images above are linked to larger one for better viewing 

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Aint't that the truth!

Note to Neal:
You didn’t leave any contact info about assisting with the parity bill

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Police Find Meth in Man's Prosthetic Leg

The Associated Press
Sep 28, 2006 4:10 PM

JAY, Okla. - Sheriff's deputies have arrested a Grove man on drug charges after finding crystal methamphetamine inside his prosthetic leg. Larry Clinton Harper, 64, was arrested at his business, Harper's Used Cars and Body Shop, last week.

 

During a search, deputies found drugs inside a sock-like covering inside Harper's prosthetic leg, said Delaware County Sheriff's Capt. Larry Barnett.

 

"They just tumbled out, and he just laughed," Barnett said. "He said he thought he was pulling the wool over our eyes, but we had the last laugh."

 

The arrest followed successful drug buys from Harper's business, Barnett said.

My first two thoughts when I read this report:

1. Oklahoma doesn't have prosthetic parity laws, so he was trying to make enough to buy a new leg

2. I wonder if the police confiscated the leg as a result of the Ricco laws (vehicle used in the transport of drugs)

 

Note: Prosthetic parity laws are ones that require insurance companies to provide appropriate prosthetic care as needed

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Note to Ump...

Hey Ump, when calling a softball game for the Stillwater Parks & Rec department, leave your cell phone in the scorer's hut.

If you must have it in your pocket, have it on silent.

If you must have it on 'loud', either:

   a. Tell your wife not to call, or

   b. Have her ringtone something other than Boomer Sooner!

 

Yep, that's right. In the middle of a game, the Ump's cell phone starts playing the University of Oklahoma fight song. Just as my pitcher released the pitch, the cell phone started. Being it is slow-pitch softball, both the batter and I (I'm the catcher) turn to the Ump and start giving him some major grief. It was so bad, the Ump called 'no pitch' and we had to do that one over.

 

Two side notes:

1. Ump's wife is an OU fan, thus the ring tone

2. One of the outfielders thought the problem at homeplate was due to the Ump passing gas or something. I advised it was much much worse!

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Off the Mark hits it out of the park!

If you don’t visit this site on an almost daily basis, you really should!

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Solar flares to disrupt GPS in 2011

Navigation, power and communications systems that rely on GPS satellite navigation will be disrupted by violent solar activity in 2011.  A study reveals Global Positioning System receivers to be unexpectedly vulnerable to bursts of radio noise produced by solar flares, created by explosions in the Sun's atmosphere.  When solar activity peaks in 2011 and 2012, it could cause widespread disruption to aircraft navigation and emergency location systems that rely heavily on satellite navigation data.  Particularly intense solar activity occurs roughly every 11 years due to cyclic changes to the Sun's magnetic field – a peak period known as the solar maximum.  Solar flares send charged particles crashing into the outer fringes of the Earth's atmosphere at high velocity, generating auroras and geomagnetic storms.

 

You can read the complete story at NewScientistTech.com

 

In a related story:
It appears the solar activity has already reached Dallas Texas as the local police have lost one of their bait cars which is tracked by a GPS device in the vehicle.  While some police departments dress up plain clothes officers to impersonate ‘ladies of the evening’ in attempts to arrest those who pay for their services, other departments park vehicles with hidden surveillance equipment in high crime areas to catch car thieves.  When the vehicles are stolen, the equipment records (audio and video) the criminal activity.  The GPS unit broadcasts the speed and location of the vehicle so the good guys and arrest the bad guys.

 

Two days ago, AllHeadlineNews.com reported that one of the Dallas Police Department’s bait cars has been lost due to the GPS location unit failing.  Lt. Rick Watson stated, "We want the car stolen. Yes, we do. But, then we want it recovered with the individual that stole it." Also, police don't want to give away any info on the car, as doing so would make it almost impossible to use again if its recovered. "Really what we are hoping for right now is the individual that took it - doesn't realize what he has," said Watson.

 

So, not only is everything bigger in Texas, they appear to be ahead of their time as well!

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For my buddy Joe

A very near and dear friend of mine told me I needed to update my blog more regularly, since he checks it every day.  With that ‘challenge’, I had to come up with the perfect post and dedicate it to him.  Joe works for Stillwater Designs, the manufacturer of the world famous Kicker speakers.  What better entry to dedicate to a Kicker employee than one covering a DIY (do it yourself) project of creating a folding speaker enclosure.

 

Yep, make your own speaker box out of paper, and I’ll even provide a template for you to use!  At instructables.com you can find step by step (all four of them) instructions on making your own speaker enclosures. From the site:

"...the box is an 80mm cube but it could be any size you like just choose the card thickness to suite the size of the box. Although this was made from card you could just as well use polypropylene as a harder wearing material, you can often buy stationary folders made from polypropylene that you can recycle."

Here is the template I promised:

 

The only other thing it needs is a Kicker Livin’ Loud logo 

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Two weeks from today

Two weeks from today is one of the major "daddy-daughter dates" of 2006! Sarah and I will be taking a road trip to Enid to help out with an 89.7 The House (radio station) concert featuring BarlowGirl. This will be the third BarlowGirl concert Sarah and I have attended in the past couple of years. Sarah normally helps out as a volunteer with World Vision type of tables. I, on the other hand, work security for the artists, so this will be third time I have got to hang out with the Barlow sisters and their parents.

I am awful with song lyrics, unless I have the chance to read the lyrics as I listen to the song the first several times. Since I like to put together websites, I took a few minutes to put together a "BarlowGirl Lyrics" site at http://manna4all.net/bg-lyrics. Take a peek at it if you like, and even listen to some of the sample clips I found at BarlowGirl website.

14 days and counting........

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How is this for advertising?

Somebody at Bic is very creative

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International "Talk Like a Pirate Day" was yesterday

Haven't you heard that "Talk Like a Pirate Day" falls on September 19th every year? I had, but I completely forgot about it until the end of the day so I wasn't able to share the joy with all those around me. I am on one particular joke email list that I receive as a digest once a day. The digest I received this morning (of yesterday's messages) was full of pirate jokes. The best one had to be:

A man walks into a pet store and says, "I'm playing Long John Silver in the play Treasure Island, and I'm looking for a parrot. Can you sell me one?"

The pet store owner says, "You don't want a real parrot, it'll squawk all the time and poop on your shoulder, and what if it falls off during the play?"

The man says, "Well, I want to be as realistic as possible."

The pet store owner says, "I've got a stuffed parrot you can use. Can you pick it up on Thursday?"

"Oh, I can't come on Thursday. That's when I'm getting my leg cut off."

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Let's say I break into your house......

A lady wrote the best letter in the Editorials in ages!! It explains things better than all the baloney you hear on TV. Recently large demonstrations have taken place across the country protesting the fact that Congress is finally addressing the issue of illegal immigration. Certain people are angry that the US might protect its own borders, might make it harder to sneak into this country and, once here, to stay indefinitely. Let me see if I correctly understand the thinking behind these protests.

Let's say I break into your house. Let's say that when you discover me in your house, you insist that I leave. But I say, "I've made all the beds and washed the dishes and did the laundry and swept the floors; I've done all the things you don't like to do. I'm hard-working and honest (except for when I broke into your house).

According to the protesters, not only must you let me stay, you must add me to your family's insurance plan, educate my kids, and provide other benefits to me and to my family (my husband will do your yard work because he too is hard-working and honest, except for that breaking in part).

If you try to call the police or force me out, I will call my friends who will picket your house carrying signs that proclaim my right to be there. It's only fair, after all, because you have a nicer house than I do, and I'm just trying to better myself. I'm hard-working and honest, um, except for well, you know.

And what a deal it is for me!! I live in your house, contributing only a fraction of the cost of my keep, and there is nothing you can do about it without being accused of selfishness, prejudice and being an anti-housebreaker.

Oh yeah, and I want you to learn my language so you can communicate with me!!

Why can't people see how ridiculous this is?! Only in America....

if you agree, pass it on (in English).
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It's Gametime!

One of my many duties at OSU is to process the multiple broadcast messages sent out to various groups (student, staff, faculty, as well as sub-sets).  This week marked the second issue of a message to all students reminding them of the home football game today (OSU vs Florida Atlantic Univ).  The subject line of the message, quite appropriately, was “It’s Gametime!”

 

When I received and opened this week’s message, I was quite surprised when I saw an black and orange (instead of red) Darth Maul.  Who would have thought that Darth Maul was an OSU fan?  I would have expected him to be an OU fan, since he is on the dark side of The Force.  (sorry about that one Mom, but I had to go there!)

 

I don’t get to decide content of messages, I just act as a letter carrier delivering the mail to the intended recipients.  Ever since I hit the send button (yes, Joe … I removed the “Approval Copy” text), I have wondered how many others got a small fright when they opened their mail that Thursday afternoon.  If you would like to see the complete message that was sent out to over 24,000 students, you can view it here.

 

Note: I actually get to attend the game today.  A very generous friend gave me three very nice tickets.  I have asked Joe and Kevin to go with me, since I haven’t had a chance to spend much time with either of them lately.  Today should be a good day! 

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A good ending to a lousy week

Ok, I've mentioned before that I am biking to work each day (unless attire or weather prohibits it). This evening's trip home provided for some fun and bragging rights.

So, I'm on the way home riding along Hall of Fame Avenue (eastbound) stopped at the traffic light at N. Main St (Map of Fun). When I ride, I ride on the street as opposed to sidewalks when they are available. While waiting for the light to turn green a college kid (ck) rode up beside me, but on the sidewalk. He started some small talk:

CK: Nice bike

Me: Thanks ... that's a nice looking mountain bike you got there.

CK: Is your bike fast?

Me: Yeah, I guess so

CK: (mumbles something)

Me: What?

CK: How old are you?

Me: 41, why? How old are you?

CK: 20. wanna race to Perkins Road? (0.4 miles away)

Me: Yeah, whatever.

The light turns green and CK is in a higher gear, so each rotation of the pedals for him is better speed. I, on the other hand, am in a lower gear so I can get going without a bunch of effort. CK starts pulling away from me a little and jumps off the curb and into the street in front of me. we both are going through the gears, but I have 24 to his 18. I caught up with him at the railroad tracks (about 2/3 distance to Perkins)

Me: You in your top gear? (between breaths)

CK: Yeah

Me: I've got a few more, see you at the light!

I jacked up to 24th gear and, with the same pedal cadence, pulled away from CK enough to show him "who's boss" ;-)

At the light I told him "good race" to which he agreed and then I gave him one of my personal business cards which has all of my biking information about the Amputees Across America ride from July (past posts 1, 2, 3 and 4). While talking with CK, I made sure to control my breathing, so my "out-of-shapeness" didn't show. After CK turned south on Perkins, I started sucking wind like the 41 year old I am. A guy in a pick-up next to me rolled down his window, said "nice race" and asked if I wanted to throw my bike in the back and get a ride. I told him that I was a short distance from home, so no thanks.

I was still sucking wind so bad when I got home that Renee thought something was wrong. When I told her about the race, she said the only thing wrong was me trying to act like a 20 year old!
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My brother's theme song

Listen to the song (complements of MorningSidekick.com).
<-- Audio only or YouTube video

"My Cubicle"
Lyrics by: Morning Sidekick
Performed by: Jym Britton
Parody on "You're Beautiful" by James Blunt

My job is stupid my day's a bore,
Inside this office from eight to four
Nothin' ever happens my life is pretty bland,
Pretending that I'm working, pray I don't get canned.

My Cubicle, My cubicle
It’s one of sixty-two
It’s my small space in a crowded place
Just a six-by-six foot booth
And I hate it that’s the truth

When I give a sigh as the boss walks by,
no one ever talks to me or looks me in the eye.
And I really should work but instead
I just sit here and surf the Internet.

In My Cubicle, My cubicle
It doesn't have a view.
It’s my small space in a crowded place
I sit in solitude.
And sometimes I sit here nude.
        (personal note: EEWWWW!)
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I had an epiphany (no, it didn’t hurt)

The church I attend has a function called Caravan for the younger kids on Wednesday nights. It is somewhat like scouts, in the fact they earn badges for various projects/activities. Somehow I got volunteered to help out with the Technology badge. Tonight was the first night for technology, and was to cover how computers work and benefit people.

The ‘script’ I was given was basically a bullet point list of terms (CPU, monitor, hard drive, mouse, keyboard, etc) with very basic definitions for each, but lacked any explanation of what they do. It was up to me (it felt like anyways) to make the 45 minutes enjoyable, instead of root-canal painful. From the little paperwork I was given, I have been worried about how I was going to fill the last 30 minutes of the overall 45. I did have a couple of old computers at my disposal (key word!).

Monday evening was the moment of my epiphany. I felt like I had come up with a great method to explain the key components of the computer:
       CPU: brain of the computer (common analogy)
       Hard disk drive (HDD): the toy box
       RAM: their floor (or other area to play)

Before any of the kids could play a game, they had to use their brain to think of the game (double click the icon). Once you know what game you are going to play, you go to the toy box to get it (CPU accesses HDD to get a copy of the application) and you spread it out on the floor / table / whatever (CPU moves copy of application to RAM for quicker access during use of application).

During the talk, since I had ‘disposable’ PCs, out came the pieces. First was an old AMD 5x86 processor chip complete with heat-sync and fan (I said they were old machines) when I started talking about the brain. I passed this around while we talked about it. Next, as we were discussing various computer programs and games, I was removing the screws to take out the hard drive (toy box). Last was the removal of the two memory cards, which represented their floor. The more floor space, the more toys you can have out at one time. The difficult part came when I showed off a memory card from a laptop computer and tried to explain that even though it was much smaller, it was able to store several times the amount of information. Monitors, keyboards, mice and removable storage devices (diskettes, CD-Roms and DVDs) were discussed somewhat, but without the clever analogies

The hit of the presentation was when I removed my Pocket PC device from it’s ‘holster’ and shared how it’s brain, toy box and floor was “way more” than the big computer we just got through taking apart.

All in all, I think it was a pretty good evening. In two weeks we will discuss PowerPoint and the ‘sound booth’. To complete their requirements for a badge, they have to help create a small PowerPoint presentation or help run the sound board one Sunday morning.
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FEMA recommendation for New Orleans

It might just work....

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On the road again

Being that I haven’t been blogging as much as I used to do, I have failed to share about my bike riding since the trip to Dallas in early July.

The first week after the trip were spend without any riding time, as a chance to take a break. Then, when the 100+ degree heat hit, I decided that biking wasn’t needed for health reasons. The first Sunday in August found me taking a trip to the emergency room as a result of a bad fall and twisted knee at church earlier that day (nothing broken, just messed up tendons and ligaments). Due to the fall, I was cautioned not to wear my prosthetic leg for 7–10 days. Luckily the church had a wheelchair I could borrow for that time period.

A few weeks after I was back on my feet (excuse the pun), I was asked if I could assist the church softball team so they would have enough players to field the game. Yep, the first week of the month I was in a wheelchair and the end of the month saw me playing softball!

This week I decided to start riding my bike to work again. The first day back on the bike, I would have sworn that the campus had been a few miles further away from my house than it had been in June (the fact I took off riding at sprint speed probably didn’t help any!).

This weekend I decided to see how some distance riding felt. Yesterday morning’s ride was a short one of about 14 miles and this evening’s was longer at 32.5 miles. Both rides felt really good, especially considering the fact the miles were true road miles, instead of laps around Boomer Lake.

I plan to continue riding to work each day, unless I have to wear some really nice clothes (slacks and tie) or if the day looks to include rain in the forecast.
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My brother sent me this ... this is perfect to end the week with:

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Where has this store been all my life?

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So wrong that it hurts

I’m sorry, but when I saw this cartoon this morning, I had to share it immediately

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New look and feel

If you didn't notice, I have made a major overhaul in my blog template. I have my old design backed up, but thought I would throw this out here for comments.

Whatdoyathink?

Reminder of old look:

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BWAA HAA HAA

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Surgeon General's Warning:

Not smoking will cause you to live 15 years after you've stopped being useful.
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The students are back in town...

... and the traffic is awful. Check out this video (2.8MB in size, but worth it)
 
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With this banana I thee wed

A jewelry store in the NSW city of Bathurst now stocks, along with plenty of carats, that other great status item – fresh bananas.

With every engagement ring, W J Coote and Sons is giving away its usual bottle of champagne – but buyers also are getting a gift-wrapped bunch of "yellow gold".

Store owner Sam Coote said the idea came to him as he was shopping at the weekend.

"I was basically walking through the supermarket with my wife and people were buying lettuce, tomatoes, carrots – and one banana," he said.

"I thought, this is getting ridiculous. They're the type of thing that you associate with a jewelry store. They're now a luxury item."

So Sam went out and bought dozens of the post-cyclone Larry luxuries at the luxury price of $3.65 a banana.

Now, along with the diamonds, necklaces, sapphires and rings, the business features gift-wrapped bunches of bananas in the window.

"I've got a sign saying 'the bananas are under video surveillance at all times'," he laughs.

The price of bananas is expected to turn the corner soon as fresh post-cyclone stock is ready for harvest.

Sources: Sydney Morning Hearld & The Courier Mail (from down under)


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Another benefit of being an amputee

Here is another benefit of being an amputee … if you like a firm pillow, you always have one available.

Follow-up note When sharing this with a co-worker, he replied:

"...with that in mind, maybe you should purchase the pillow top leg"
I just had to include that here
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